Can you check my cover letter and tell if it sounds ok?
Date
Ms.
Director of Personnel
Dear Ms.:
I will be graduating in August 2009 from ************* University with a Bachelor’s degree in English, and I am interested in applying for a teaching position. I would like to continue to develop my teaching skills while creating a challenging and fun learning environment for students. The elementary & middle school age group is particularly appealing to me, because students are very impressionable, interesting in learning, and open to new concepts.
I have worked as an English Teacher with elementary students at an Institute called Piccolo. With my undergraduate background, I believe I could make a valuable contribution in your school.
I have attached my resume for your review. Thank you for considering my application. I would appreciate the opportunity for an interview and look forward to receiving your reply.
Sincerely,
My name
E-mail
Resume text included in email below and attached as MS Word document
Your letter makes you sound like a very nice person and I am sure, in person, that is the impression you give.
However, most of your phrases are "passive" in your letter. Try to avoid using "I would like", "I will be" or "I believe". Re-state your wording to say:
"My goal is the continue developing my teaching skills while crating a challenging and fun learning environment for my students."
Leave out the reference to the Piccolo Institute unless it can be developed further to enhance your experience. What did it specialize in? Were you awarded some type of recognition while there?
You will make a valuable contribution to any school where you are teaching. Not only do I believe it but future employers will too if you tell them straight out.
Good luck and let us know.
P.S. I did a new set of cover letters for myself earlier in the year. Just playing around, I wrote the opposite of what I normally would. Guess what? I received more responses from potential employers than I ever had. Ever.
I got that idea from Seinfeld when George did it and got the job with the Yankees. Please keep in mind, I was just experimenting because the jobs were not actually the ones I was trying to get. Not seriously, anyway.
21 keys to a Fast Job Search video http://www.NewEdgeProductions.com
